


That’s the Wrong Set for Banging

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anal Sex, Dave and Dirk being little assholes, Incest, M/M, Rimming, but tagged just in case, not really incest considering that they're suppose to be adopted brothers, screwing on a movie set
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-11
Updated: 2014-03-11
Packaged: 2018-01-15 08:12:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1297732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When your brother’s movie set is empty, anything can happen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That’s the Wrong Set for Banging

**Author's Note:**

> Originally, this was gonna be part of a series where Dave was Dirk's older, adopted brother and they weren't related, but that never panned out cause I didn't want to write anymore.
> 
> By the way, I dunno how to do the pesterchum thing, but one day I'll figure it out, so sorry for how it looks.

You hate when your brother invites you to one of his movie shoots. Personally, you find it boring to watch the actors have to redo a scene several times because a line wasn’t said right or the shot wasn’t at the perfect angle, or some other bullshit.

And Dave never lets you play with the camera equipment, hell, any of the equipment for that matter, because of this one time when you got curious. Personally, you thought the camera you built out of the two that you took apart, in a matter of three hours when no one was paying attention to you, works a thousand times better then what Dave has used for his films. But that’s your opinion.

You still haven't paid back the money for those cameras, not that you’re gonna pay for them anyway. No one was using them and they didn’t have film in them. In your defense, you thought they were broken.

“Cut!” You hear your brother say as you look up from your phone, having been in the middle of texting Roxy about how bored you are. You watch him get up from the director’s chair you're sitting next to and walk up to one of the actors, speaking to them about something that doesn't interest you in the least.

**TT: I’m gonna die of boredom before the day is through Roxy. I don’t know why Bro brought me along.**

**TG: cause he totally wants to spend time with his bestest lil brother in the world**

**TT: I think it’s because he doesn’t want me at home, harassing the numbers in his little black book. Not my fault he leaves that shit out in the open, giving me the perfect opportunity to harass some egotistical celebrities who need to know that they aren’t that great.**

**TG: theyll find out it was you**

**TT: No one knows who I am outside of being ‘Strider’s little brother who never says a word’. Besides, I use an unlisted number when I do that shit, and it’s fun. Want me to give you some numbers? I know there are some people you’re just dying to give the business too.**

**TG: maybe l8r when moms not lookin over my shoulder**

**TT: Hey Ro-la, wanna get smashed and drunk text each other? I see beer on the Kraft table and I’m just that desperate to drunkenly role play straight sex with you.**

**TG: oooh!!!**

**TG: shit**

**TG: mom saw that**

**TT: Let me guess, she told you no, right?**

**TG: u r right**

**TT: Crap. My phone’s dying and I forgot my charger at the apartment.  Guess I’ll have to talk to you later.**

**TG: aww D:**

**TG: welllllllllll ok**

**TG: but talk 2 me when you get home or ill fly to hollywood and kick your butt**

**TT: I will hold you too that, Roxy. Later.**

**TG: bye baby**

You turn off your phone, slipping it into your pocket just as your brother sits back down into his chair, looking really annoyed and bored. “Having a rough day, Bro?” You ask, getting a really loud groan from him before he turns to look at you.

“Wipe that shit-eating grin off your face, you little brat.”

“What’s wrong?” You reply back, though you honestly don't care, but might as well be nice and see what the issue is.

“We’ve been doing this scene for two hours and it’s just not… uhg! It’s just not right! And I can’t figure out why!”

“It’s almost three in the afternoon; you’ve been on set since six this morning, just call it a day and tell everyone to go home. Then you can watch over what you had filmed to see what the problem is.”

Dave looks at you through his aviator shades and sighs. “That’s a wrap!” He calls out loudly, getting everyone’s attention. “We’ll do the scene tomorrow, I ain't pulling some Kubrick shit and having you stay all day and night just to get this stupid scene down perfect. Go home, practice your lines, watch some shitty show, get drunk off your ass, I don’t care, just don’t die. Be here by eight tomorrow morning ready to go.” And with that, you know Dave the director is done for the day.

You have to wait almost another hour for everyone on the set to leave until it’s just you and Bro in the empty room. You glance over, seeing that Dave has dozed off. With a slight quirk of your lips, you get out of your chair and crawl onto your brother’s lap. You know his eyes open behind those shades before he tilts his head up to look at you.

“What are you doing?”

“I wanted to sit in a more comfortable seat. I don’t know how in the hell you can sit in those shitty director’s chairs all day.”

“Your ass and back learn to adapt.” Speaking of ass and back, you feel Dave place his hands on your backside. “Do you want something?”

“Something to keep me from dying of boredom.”

Dave smirks at you, his hands resting on your ass and squeezing hard. “I think that can be arranged. Did you know that during heated, sexual scenes, it’s common for actors and actresses to become aroused?”

“I think I read about that on tumblr somewhere, but are you trying to tell me you’ve got a boner? Cause if you do, I don’t know how your gears got turning from a scene involving a hot dog with jelly. Or was it the scene with the squirrel? I bet it was that scene, you were getting all worked up because of it, I’m sure.”

“I was trying to hint to you that I am slightly turned on by the fact that my younger brother is in his tightest skinny jeans and is sitting on my lap, crotch touching crotch, you little shit.”

It was your turn to smirk as you lean in close to his face. “Are you saying you want to fuck on your set?”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying.”

“But what if someone walks in? How are you going to explain the sight of supposed incest?” You gasp dramatically out of snark, not that you care but, you know, taboos and shit give the media massive boners.

He shrugs. “We’ll just lock the door. Off my lap and go sit on the obviously cheesy set.”

With a click of your tongue, you get off of his lap, watching as your big brother heads for the doors to the room, locking them from the inside. You sit down on the fake grass of the set, it wasn’t the most comfortable feeling, since it was like the fake grass from some corny sitcom show, but that’s perfect for a Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff film.

Dave walks over, shoving his hands into his jean pockets as he casually strolls. You’re now kinda happy he decided to dress like a slob today rather than be in one of his sharp suits he’s usually seen wearing, makes things a lot easier to remove. Though, you do love seeing how sexy he is in a suit that’s been ruffled up a bit, opened jacket, some buttons on the shirt undone, tie pretty much untied and ready to be tossed aside or used to tie him or yourself up, fuck!

Well, that got you started.

“Whatcha thinkin’ about?” He asks as he steps closer, getting down to be on top of you. “Thinkin’ about how amazing your big brother is?”

“No, I’m thinking about how amazing Wilson’s ass looked when he tripped over that cord today and it was in the air- of course I’m thinking about you, stupid.” You shove him off and push him down onto his back so that you were on top. You remove his infamous shades, setting them aside with your own before kissing his slightly chapped lips.

He tastes like the apple juice he’s been sucking down all day; you probably taste like oranges from the piece of Crush gum you had been chewing. Your brother doesn’t need to know that you stuck it under his seat when the flavor ran out.

Moving from his lips, you trail down his neck, gently nipping at his Adam’s apple, feeling him swallow as you did. Dave’s hands slip up your shirt, lightly clawing at your back with chipped nails, he’s gotta stop biting them. Speaking of biting, you start to gently bite on the spot between Dave’s neck and shoulder, hearing a small moan come from him that only gets louder when you start to suck. You were thinking of leaving a hicky in a spot he couldn’t cover without make up, but you were going to go easy on him today.

“You gonna top today, kiddo?” You hear him ask through his teeth when you push your hand down on the space between his belly button and his pelvis, feeling the tent he was pitching against your wrist.

“Do you want me to? I don’t mind, it’s been a while.”

“I could use a good pain in my ass that’s physical, not metaphorical.”

You roll your eyes, snorting at what he said. “Remove your shirt.” You order as you sit up, toying with the ironic Hot Topic belt he wore with his black jeans, actually, these are your jeans; fucker stole your clothes again! You forgive him because they look great on him and because you’re too horny to deal with that shit right now.  You get the belt undone as he tosses his shirt aside.

Dave glanced up and grabbed a hold of your shirt, yanking it over your own head, throwing it with his own. “Look at you, been working out?” He chuckles, lightly running his fingers up and down your sides and stomach, feeling the slight bit of muscle mass you have, nothing serious but it shows that you were thin but healthy, a good body for strifes and flashsteps.

“Heh, I could ask you the same thing.” You smirk, looking at his chest before flicking a nipple, hearing him grunt.

“Don’t do that.”

“Why not?”

“Cause I’ll do this.” He flicks one of yours, which stings like all hell cause you have piercings and he fucking knows this. You glare down at him, seeing the smug look on his face. You call him a jerk, he calls you a bitch.

What are you? Sam and Dean?

You press your hands on his shoulders, keeping him pinned to the fake grass as you kiss his chest, smelling the body wash he used this morning. It was that Pert Kids crap where it was a combo of shampoo/conditioner/body wash, which he bought not only for the irony, but because it smells like apples.

Dave hands were on your hips, his thumbs rubbing small circles on the slight bump of hip bone that stuck out. You kiss a nipple and circle the little nub with your tongue, feeling his skin tighten under your hands, a good reaction, especially when you suck on the nub, feeling it harden.

He groans loudly and pushes your head back, making you look at him. “Hey, if you’re gonna suck, how about the bump in my pants, yeah?”

You roll your eyes. “Tch, whatever, let me do what I want. I’ll get to your dick when I get to it.”

“Uhhhhgggg… and that will be when?”

“After I please you, stupid.” You kiss his chest before sucking on some spots, going to leave a few nice hickies around his collarbone. Your hands gently ran up and down his sides, feeling some of his scars. As you move your lips lower down his torso, you feel Dave arch his back a little, a silent signal to keep going, he likes this.

You get to his navel, licking around it before dipping your tongue into it, getting a throaty moan out of him and a hand to your hair, gripping it. Uhg, you hate when he grabs your hair, you were a bit sensitive on your scalp and-oh shit he's scratching your head. “Bro… come on man, not cool.”

You hear him chuckle and you want to punch him in the crotch really, really hard. “Shut up Bro.”

“If you’re gonna play with my stomach hole, you’re gonna get your hair pulled.”

“Fuck off.”

“Nah, I’d rather fuck you.”

“Nope, not happenin’ today Bro.” You say as you tug on his pants, getting them down his long legs (he shaved, you just noticed this). With some annoyance, you remove his shoes and then his pants, leaving him in mismatched socks and his briefs.

Dave looks at you, being quiet this whole time. “You think you’re gonna pound my hot butt?” He challenged, knowing it was gonna happen cause you said you were topping.

“I don’t think, I know.” You reply simply, getting up to grab something from your brother’s laptop bag. You dig into one of the pockets and pull out a small tube of lube, Dave always comes prepared it seems.

You turn back, seeing Dave with a smirk on his lips and a hand on his cock, slowly stroking himself as he stares at you. You swallow a lump in your throat as you stare at him for a moment before getting down in front of him, ignoring the burning feeling on your ears. You call him a dick, he doesn’t reply, his smirk just gets bigger.

Oooh, you are gonna wipe that look right off his face, and to do that, you’re gonna catch him off guard. You remove his hand from his cock, leaning forward, as if to put the head into your mouth. He watches you with his crimson eyes before they widen as you grab his hips, pushing them up and bowed your head, tongue out to lick his entrance.

“What the fuck?!” He exclaims, yes, you caught him! He is red in the face as you lick around the ring of muscles, not yet dipping the tip of your tongue in, cause you're a tease. Dave grips the fake grass as you lick before finally pushing your tongue in, hearing the small sound of his breath getting caught in his throat.

You move in and out of him, feeling the warm, tight muscles squeeze you; he needs to relax, jeez. He moans softly as you continue to rim him, you suspect he’s never had this done before and you like that suspicion.

“Damnit Dirk… no one likes a tease…” You hear him say, making you pull away with a chuckle.

“Oh really? I do believe you are mistaken, dear brother.” You poke the red cock head in front of you, getting a grunt from him, seeing the glare he shoots you. “Gonna finger you now.” You reply so casually, grabbing the bottle you set aside and popped the cap, putting a bit of the contents onto your fingers, enough to coat them well enough for this job.

Dave waits patiently, though he was still clawing at the grass, waiting for you to hurry up silently. With a roll of your eyes for the umpteenth time, you set about pushing the first finger in, feeling him tighten on you again. “Relax, Dave, or it’s gonna hurt us both when I put my dick in you.”

“I don’t always bottom; it’s not something I’m use to.” He snaps at you, annoyed and embarrassed.

“Being a bottom isn’t so bad, means you don’t have to do as much work and you can just lie back and think of England.”

“God you’re such a dork.”

“Love you too.” You reply as you curl your finger, feeling him twitch. “Relax.” You repeat yourself, using your free hand to loosely wrap it around the base of his cock, gently stroking him. You can feel the tension loosen up slightly, allowing you to continue at a better pace. A second finger soon joins the first, followed by a third when you feel Dave is loose enough for it. You hear him groan, his cock twitches in your hand when your middle finger just barely brushes against his prostate, such a tease, that is you.

You actually hear Dave let out a soft whine when you pull back your fingers. “Aw, already miss me up your ass so soon?” You tease, getting a snort from him, followed by his middle finger.

“Heh, don’t worry Bro, I’ll be back in. Flip over, I want you on your hands and knees.”

Dave grumbles under his breath, you hear him call you some rather colorful words, probably picked them up from that Vantas guy he talks to often. Once he is on his knees and hands, his ass is on full display before you. You can't help what you do next.

TH-WACK!

“HOLY FU-! DIRK!” Dave snaps at you, giving you one hell of a glare. You only smirk, leaning in to give the fresh, red mark a kiss.

“Sorry man, you know how I am. Asses are my favorite thing.” You reply simply before grabbing the lube, using it to slick yourself up, moaning as you finally give your neglected cock some attention. Once you were slicked up enough, you positioned yourself behind Dave, grabbing his ass cheeks, spreading them. “You ready?”

“Yeah, go slow or I’m making you walk home.”

You let out a small snicker before kissing the back of his neck. Slowly, you push the head of your cock in, feeling him tighten up. “Ease up Bro.” You mumble, running your hand through his hair, messing up the blond locks. You feel him relax a little, allowing you to keep pushing in until he took you to the base. You groan at how hot and tight he was, making you thrust slowly, gotta get started.

As you move, you hear Dave moan your name, grabbing the crappy, fake grass again. You wrap an arm around his waist; you take a hold of his dick, stroking it slowly before matching your strokes to the pace of your thrusts. He moans beneath you, giving you squeezes when you press into him, but when you hit that little bundle of nerves, he always let out the most delicious sounding noises. You wish you were taking him on his back, then you could ravish his throat for making such amazing sounds.

Maybe next time, right now you’re busy fucking his ass into next week on his own movie set. You feel yourself getting closer to the end, feeling that familiar pool of heat in your gut when you know you're close, you’re sure the same is happening to your bro, he’s practically humping your hand right now.

You press against his back, your breath hitching as you give one last thrust, pulling out just as you finished, releasing onto his ass and thighs. You pumped Dave a few more times, pressing your thumb on the head when he finally came onto the ground. Letting go of him, you fall back, letting out a sigh. “Mm, that was nice. How’d you like it?”

“If I have a limp in the morning, I’m throwing your My Little Pony DVDs into the hot tub while it’s on.”

“And a fuck you to you too, big bro.” You glare as you stand up, getting your pants back up. Once you have them buttoned and your shirt back on, you watch Dave finish getting dressed and semi-cleaned up before he walks up to you, giving you a kiss.

“Love you.” He say before ruffling up your hair, making you let out an annoyed groan.

“Don’t mess up my hair.”

“It’s payback for messing up mine.” He comments, grabbing his laptop bag, slipping his aviators back onto his face.

You scoff at him, putting on your own shades. “I just think you look good with sex hair.”

“I know I do, but not while I’m working.”

“You’re not working now.”

“True. Wanna grab some Taco Bell for dinner? My treat.”

“Hell fucking yes.”

The next day, you get a text from Dave telling you that you guys had forgotten to clean up the cum on the set. You send him a text that basically says it’s an ironic feature and that he should keep it for the shot.

He does.

END


End file.
